Vittoria!

I just collected on my World Cup victory. Add another hundred grand into Phutsie & Co.'s July receipts. What a month!

It's been suggested that certain agents of mine injected PCP into Zinedine Zidane's pregame croissant. To these accusers I say only this: (1) PePe was only in Berlin to celebrate his great-aunt's 80th birthday — he can produce the party favors to corroborate this; (2) had I really so conspired to slip Zizzou a mickey, you can bet I'd have dealt him a bigger dose. That guy hung around 110 minutes before he cracked up, and in the interim he very nearly did in my Azzurri.

But whatever — I suppose that's what comes of acquiring overnight celebrity. "Loot the Church" wins primo CNN coverage, a putz like O'Reilly starts ranting on you, and people start to get the idea you'll do anything for money.

Anyway.

WDF account balance: $416,388.12.